I Wore A Tie To Work

There’s one of the guys at work that started a Tie Tuesday thing. He said he was tired of being asked what the hell are you dressed up for when he’d wear one for an interview, so he wanted to normalize it, and started wearing a tie every Tuesday.

I decided being a woman was no reason for me to be left out of Tie Tuesday. After all, there’s lots of jobs – some of them in aviation to boot – where I might, as a woman be required to wear a uniform that included a tie, and thus, technically, neckties have become gender neutral to an extent.

To an extent. When I decided to raid the closet for one of my husband’s ties that matched the collared shirt I was wearing, and head to work, I didn’t think it was going to be as big a deal as it was.


First, the husband wouldn’t give me a kiss goodbye. He might take some time to get used to it.

At work, it was a hit. The vast majority of people smiled and said it was awesome. I was some kind of spectacle; I might as well have been dressed up as Deadpool. And yet, it didn’t look ridiculous, there was nothing inappropriate about it, and everyone was intelligent enough to realize it wasn’t technically a social transgression.

One interesting observation was the odd one who made a point of pretending not to notice. They would look, and I could tell they noticed, and there was a split second of confusion as they tried to figure out how they were supposed to react before they decided the safest response was no response. I imagine because they weren’t sure if it was some kind of trans thing, and it was a workplace that’s very openly supportive of LGBT rights, and no one wants to come off as intolerant. One of those was the project manager as we washed out hands in the ladies room. I diffused  the awkwardness by explaining it was Tie Tuesday, and that one of the guys had started it, and I decided there was no reason I shouldn’t participate. She smiled and said it was awesome, and that it should totally be a thing.

Now my trans friend is going to send me all her old ties she doesn’t plan on wearing anymore!

In conclusion – it was fun, and I think it was a good look on me. There seems to be a lot less pushback to women adopting masculine things than there is to men adopting feminine things, and that’s simply because the feminine is (wrongly) devalued and scorned, and people don’t understand why men would want to be that. In contrast they can completely understand why women would want to become more masculine – masculine is seen as positive. I’m at a point where I’m becoming comfortable thinking of myself as gender-fluid, in the sense that I don’t conform to societal gender norms, though I don’t feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I still like to do the feminine thing sometimes, and mix and match the feminine things with the masculine as I please where it comes to makeup and clothes and interests. I go all out with makeup when I feel like it, but mostly don’t wear any at all most days. I pair feminine tops with cargo pants. I sew and garden, and I fly aeroplanes. If that makes me gender-fluid, then okay. Maybe someday we’ll live in a world where what I am is just normal and doesn’t need a label.

PS: I have advised the co-worker who started Tie Tuesday that this weekend I’m kicking off Skirt Saturday.


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